It’s 2020 and Lord Lindum is having a horrible year.
Thanks to the pandemic, haemorrhoids and bills, everything is going tits-up for Aubyn Xerxes Arbuthnot Evelyn De’Ath, 4th Baron Lindum, of Lindum Towers in the County of Lincolnshire.
Despite the ministrations of his faithful butler, Archie Fiskerton, his lordship is finding it difficult to keep his temper.
‘“I did not have sex with that woman,” Lord Lindum said in court today. “She was an ugly old trollop with ghastly dress sense and a squint and that is why I evicted her.”’The Lindum Mercury
‘There is not a more neglected, ill-featured and depressing country house in the whole of England than Lindum Towers.’Country Life
‘A butler is not just for Christmas but for life’Tatler
‘I met Lord Lindum once, in the gazebo at Claxby Pluckacre. I have never been so terrified in my entire life.’A Lady
‘This little chronicle deserves to go viral – and I know what I’m talking about.’The Coronavirus
‘I learnt all I know about being a butler from Archie Fiskerton, you know’Carson
‘You should not be reading this lewd book’The Bishop of Wellingore
‘I laughed so much, I leaked’Lady Tena of Reepham
‘Even funnier than Downton’The Snelland Mercury and Weekly Advertiser
‘Fantabulous stocking filler’Rudolph