Lord Lindum’s Anus Horribilis

Rated 5.0 out of 5
5.0 out of 5 stars (based on 16 reviews)

It’s 2020 and Lord Lindum is having a horrible year. Thanks to the pandemic, haemorrhoids and bills, everything is going tits-up for Aubyn Xerxes Arbuthnot Evelyn De’Ath, 4th Baron Lindum, of Lindum Towers in the County of Lincolnshire. Despite the ministrations of his faithful butler, Archie Fiskerton, his lordship is finding it difficult to keep his temper.

It’s 2020 and Lord Lindum is having a horrible year.

Thanks to the pandemic, haemorrhoids and bills, everything is going tits-up for Aubyn Xerxes Arbuthnot Evelyn De’Ath, 4th Baron Lindum, of Lindum Towers in the County of Lincolnshire.

Despite the ministrations of his faithful butler, Archie Fiskerton, his lordship is finding it difficult to keep his temper.

Media Coverage

‘“I did not have sex with that woman,” Lord Lindum said in court today. “She was an ugly old trollop with ghastly dress sense and a squint and that is why I evicted her.”’

The Lindum Mercury

‘There is not a more neglected, ill-featured and depressing country house in the whole of England than Lindum Towers.’

Country Life

‘A butler is not just for Christmas but for life’

Tatler

Endorsements

‘I met Lord Lindum once, in the gazebo at Claxby Pluckacre. I have never been so terrified in my entire life.’

A Lady

‘This little chronicle deserves to go viral – and I know what I’m talking about.’

The Coronavirus

‘I learnt all I know about being a butler from Archie Fiskerton, you know’

Carson

‘You should not be reading this lewd book’

The Bishop of Wellingore

‘I laughed so much, I leaked’

Lady Tena of Reepham

‘Even funnier than Downton’

The Snelland Mercury and Weekly Advertiser

‘Fantabulous stocking filler’

Rudolph
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Reviews for Lord Lindum’s Anus Horribilis

Books do not come funnier than this hilarious tale

Rated 5.0 out of 5
Tuesday, 24 November, 2020

The De’Ath family lineage, previously of noble and decorated worth, has become corrupted upon the birth of Aubyn Xerxes Arbuthnot Evelyn De’Ath, now a curmudgeonly octogenarian and the 4th Baron of Lindum. Lord Aubyn, more a product of Palin & Jones Graybridge School of ‘Ripping Yarns’ notoriety than of Eton or Harrow, is devoid of empathy towards those of lower status and desires and expects the life of a Georgian patrician in perpetuity.

He is accompanied throughout this indecorous romp by his outwardly sycophantic butler, Fiskerton, bound in servitude to the De’Aths since birth, deprived of any opportunity of formal education, but a man who has spent long hours in the family library. Fiskerton is more than he seems and capable of nefarious deeds when required to support the deviltry of his employer.

As I became more familiar with the characterisations of the main players, fleeting comparisons with prior lord-servant relationships were quickly dispelled. Aubyn is more than the antithesis of the amicable Wooster, Fiskerton more subversive than the impeccable Jeeves. Similarities with Sir Toby Belch, Malvolio and the cast of Gormenghast equally fail to describe the interplay between this autocrat and his flunkey. Thomson has moulded highly original and compelling characters who play out their roles in this hilarious short novella set in the unique and contemporary time-frame of 2020 England.

The early chapters are full of side-splitting humour, with the pompous Aubyn bossing the downtrodden Fiskerton in all manner of ways. But then comes the realisation that none are exempt from the vicissitudes of life brought about by the Covid-19 pandemic. Lockdown! On every page, Thomson’s deliberate adoption of a grandiloquent style of language perfectly suits the banter between the protagonists, with the introduction of an absurd support cast to further enhance the tittle-tattle and riotous storylines.

It would be unfair to reveal more but I smiled, chuckled, chortled and wept with tears brought on by unbridled laughter at the funniest and most improper yarn I have had the pleasure to read in years. I am sure we will hear more from Lord Aubyn and Fiskerton but, in the meantime, please indulge yourselves in this small bundle of literary delight.

Paul C McCartney

Hilarious

Rated 5.0 out of 5
Monday, 23 November, 2020

I don’t know quite what I was expecting from a book with such a dodgy title but I didn’t expect to be creased up laughing at the goings on in this dysfunctional stately home. The miserable key dates in 2020 are remembered as they affect Lord Lindum who is in his second childhood – though he probably never really emerged from his first. I meant to read it in installments but you can’t. You have to press on to the end.

Sam Baxter

Welcome to the House of Fun

Rated 5.0 out of 5
Sunday, 22 November, 2020

Lord Lindum, fourth Baron of that name, is a monster. He is a half-demented, drink-sodden tyrant who terrorises his few remainng staff, especially his ridiculously devoted butler-cum-valet, Fiskerton. His lordship is wheelchair bound but only when it suits him. Fiskerton is much put upon but maintains his urbane, unflappable front – though downstairs he is a little less respectful. As for the other staff: Mrs Washingborough, the housekeeper, goes into spasms of dread at the mere thought of encountering his lordship about the house. Scampton, the man of all work, is allowed just one day off a year and the ‘boy’, Scopwick, has to sleep in the piggery.

Downton it isn’t but the deranged world of Lindum Towers will have you laughing from the start. The gags come thick and fast as Lindum and his man struggle to deal with the challenges of 2020 with all its horrors and Lindum Towers becomes a surreal House of Fun.

Marcus the Pleb

A ray of light to round off 2020

Rated 5.0 out of 5
Friday, 20 November, 2020

Strap yourself in for the funniest book you’ll read this year……short in length, but huge on laughs. Lord Lindum and his Butler Fiskerton are the best double act since Morecambe and Wise. This book is perfect as a Christmas Gift to cheer up your loved ones. Beautifully written; Ian Thomson’s acerbic wit shines through every page. Highly recommended.

Spritzergirl

Outrageous

Rated 5.0 out of 5
Friday, 20 November, 2020

A cozy, funny, silly and outrageous read.

Nicola Parry

The Title Says It All

Rated 5.0 out of 5
Friday, 20 November, 2020

Just in time for Christmas comes a delightful romp featuring the irascible octogenarian, Aubyn De’Ath, Baron Lindum. Uncomfortable in the 21st century (and probably in the 20th and 19th), Lord Lindum’s comprehension of the modern world extends only as far as he wants it to.

The book follows the course of 2020, beginning with Christmas 2019 – which appears in memory as a time of unbridled liberty – and moves through the calendar’s normal feast days and high holidays punctuated with restrictions, lockdowns and tiers. (“It will all end in tiers,” as his lordship notes.)

Throughout this time, Lindum, assisted by his factotum, Fiskerton – who appears to be without scruple and capable of as much politically correct criminality as his master – fetches, carries, arranges and badgers in an obliquely sinister manner, reminiscent of flunkies in Gormenghast or Nightmare Abbey.

There is an art to invective. It’s more than a rant; it has precise targets and results in piercing satire and a number of good, audible, laughs. To do this, one needs to be artful, and not to over analyse what is a piece of excellent comic writing, the author – or editor – succeeds admirably.

By having the story told in the third person, the control of the narrative is in the hands of an unknown observer, and as such, the ironic observation is enhanced.

This short book entertains and delights and would be a splendid seasonal gift for someone you love – or can’t stand.

pmichael73

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