‘“I did not have sex with that woman,” Lord Lindum said in court today. “She was an ugly old trollop with ghastly dress sense and a squint and that is why I evicted her.”’

The Lindum Mercury

‘There is not a more neglected, ill-featured and depressing country house in the whole of England than Lindum Towers.’

Country Life

‘I met Lord Lindum once, in the gazebo at Claxby Pluckacre. I have never been so terrified in my entire life.’

A Lady

‘This little chronicle deserves to go viral – and I know what I’m talking about.’

The Coronavirus